New York Times, Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Excited to have my 2nd puzzle published in the New York Times! This puzzle started simply by brainstorming phrases that ended in types of investments. The idea of cluing them as punny investments for different professions was there from the beginning. Initially, I had ATOMIC BOND until Googling uncovered that the accurate term is IONIC BOND. Who knew? I apologize to my high school science teachers.

I also started with OLYMPIC GOLD (the too-obvious "Investment for Gymnasts?") and JOHNNY CASH (the groan-inducing "Investment for Plumbers?"). I was planning on having five theme answers and no revealer but eventually stumbled onto WORK PORTFOLIO, which also allowed me to get rid of the CASH answer. With IONIC BOND/BEEF STOCK matched at nine letters, I struggled for a while to come up with a ten-letter phrase to pair with the stronger COMEDY GOLD answer. I finally hit on MENU OPTION, which with its clue, is the weakest theme answer, but I felt was acceptable.

This is the third puzzle I submitted to the New York Times, and it was initially rejected. While the editors liked the theme, the fill had a lot of issues — obscure abbreviations, awkward phrases. Looking back, I would not submit that puzzle today; it's pretty tragic.

A couple of months later, with some additional constructing experience, I revisited the puzzle. I started by redoing the grid, and things came together when I opened up the center and connected the three central theme answers with EL TRAIN. That seemed to free up the corners for better fill options. One thing I learned on this puzzle was the importance of trying different grid designs to see which fills best.

Friends sometimes approach me when they hear I've helped others with financial planning. They're usually hesitant because it seems like a big ask to help structure their savings and investment strategies.

Twenty hours later, they're trying to chew off a leg to escape as I gleefully spout off on asset allocation, market timing, management fees ...

The financial sector loves making things seem complicated, because if people realized how (relatively) simple it all boils down, how would they charge fees? I hate seeing i-banks drain people's funds, so I take great pleasure in helping people cut through all the crap.

Thus, it's no surprise that this puzzle appealed to me. I wouldn't say these themers are COMEDY GOLD, but it's fun to think about a person buying a safer investment in a chemical company like Dow — let's call it an IONIC BOND. Or going riskier, allocating funds into McDonald's BEEF STOCK.

WORK PORTFOLIO was a valiant effort to tie everything together, but it didn't quite work for me. I understand that PORTFOLIO means both an array of accomplishments for an interview and an assortment of investments. I wouldn't hire a crossword writer based on this pun being in his/her WORK PORTFOLIO, though, as those two definitions are too similar to create an a-ha.

I did enjoy the crossing of COCKTAILS and WEAK TEA, and the cheekiness of STICK ON sticking on IONIC BOND. However, as much as I like great bonuses such as TOOK A VOW, ITS ALIVE, OLIVE OIL, TRAGIC END, I don't think that's worth the price of RANDR (never spelled out like this in real life), ANE, ANON, TELS, and especially STLO. Turning down the audacity knob would have been great.

The finance junkie in me loved the direction of this concept, but the execution didn't quite tickle my crossword brain.